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Not long after my father passed away my mother began to play host to all kinds of men who came to woo her. As these men would say, my mother had the figure of the real African woman. With the shape of an hourglass, large pineapples for breasts and healthy watermelons for buttocks, these men could hardly wait for my mother to come out of her mourning period for my father before they swooped on her like vultures that had been waiting for someone in a coma to finally pass out.

I had just turned fourteen and was overwhelmed at the rapid changes in my body. While I was still trying to hide the new fleshy mound on my chest, my monthly troubles began. My mother offered all the help she could to make sure I adjusted properly into womanhood. And she did not leave out the part where she told me I would get pregnant if I so much as allowed a man touch me even with the tips of his fingers. At the sane time I had to stay home from school because we now had to make do with my mother’s meager income from her fish sales. She sold many types of fish, both fresh and dried: Atabala, Ndege,Mingi and upoli.
It was at this point that I began to notice that one of the men had become the most regular. Gradually, all the others disappeared and even though she would not talk to me about it, it was clear that my mother had made her choice. Uncle Ralph. That’s what I called him. I could not call him anything else since he was only a suitor.
One afternoon I opened my eyes to giggling in our cramped room. My mother and Uncle Ralph sat on our only chair touching themselves and giggling. The bile which rose in my throat when I watched him touch my mother in forbidden places rushed into my mouth when she reached into his trousers. They had not noticed I was awake. I threw my legs down from the bed and rushed out of the room. She quickly pushed Uncle Ralph away and followed me. I ran to the yard toilet and vomited.
“Alali, are you well?” She hovered at the door looking the picture of embarrassment and making a pathetic attempt to act like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. I spat into the cracked ceramic bowl and wiped my mouth.
“Mama how can you do such a thing so soon, how can you?”
“Alali, you’re only a little girl, you cannot understand how I feel”
She came close and tried to touch me. I ducked and moved put of the toilet. “You don’t think I’ll let you touch me with that hand, do you?”
She opened her mouth and looked at her hand. Only a moment ago that hand had been in Uncle Ralph’s trousers. I stomped off and went to sit on a bench in front of the yard facing the road. This time she hadn’t bothered to follow me. She had gone in to stay with Uncle Ralph. I sat there, looking at the street kids flying their kites but not seeing anything. When would I go back to school? I had already missed the first term examinations. My classmates had stopped coming round to find out if I was well because now it didn’t look like I was going to go back to school anytime soon. Just then my mother came out from the passage with Uncle Ralph behind her. She avoided my eyes but he smiled at me, exposing his grime-packed set of teeth. His nose was bent out of shape and looked like it had been saved by some pretty good stitching after a fight. And those eyes, you could never tell what he was thinking; what with one expression changing rapidly to another before you had the time to tell what it meant. My mother led the way into the street and he walked behind her, his eyes fixed on her watermelons as they vibrated and pushed themselves about.
I stayed at home all through the next day reading my class notes, trying to convince myself that I was not a dropout yet. My mother had stopped me from going to the market with her, saying she did not want me to get used to her kind of life. She was saving to send me back to school. Three days later Uncle Ralph showed up again, although this time he was not alone. He came with his belongings. I had been sitting outside when the taxi arrived and he started unloading his things.
“Where is your mother?” He asked in his hoarse voice.
“She’s at the market” I answered promptly, hoping he was going to tell me where he had rented a room somewhere in the neighborhood. I was shocked when he began to take his things inside our room. I hurried after him. “Uncle, what are you doing?” I asked as he dumped a bundle of clothes on the chair.
“What does it look like I’m doing?-moving in”
“How? Does my mother know?”
He paused to look at me. I thought he was going to say something but he just shook his head and like he was sorry for me and went outside to get his remaining things. I ran to Mrs. Orumabo’s door and pounded my fists on it. She was not in. I thought that as my mother’s friend s he would be able to tell me if my mother knew about Uncle Ralph’s moving in. I ran back to our room and found him already settling in. He had lit a stick of cigarette and was filling the room with its fumes. I could not believe this was happening. My surprise gave birth to anger as I left the compound and headed for the market. Not having any money on me, I walked the whole distance. By the time I got to my mother’s stall I was breathless. She was bent under the table, sorting out fish in ice for a customer. When she stood and saw me in the state in which I was she gave me a seat immediately and butchered the fish for the customer. After the customer had gone she wiped her hands on her apron and searched my eyes.
“Alali, what are you doing here?”
“Mama, what is happening to us?”
Her gaze widened. “How do you mean, what has happened?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know! How can you let him move in? The room is small enough as it is and I don’t like him. But why mama, why so soon?”
She pulled a stool and sat in front of me. This time she narrowed her eyes. “Is that why you ran down here like someone had died? Why couldn’t you wait at home till I get back?”
I stood, angry at her insensitivity. “Mama! I was hoping you would say you didn’t know about him moving in, how can…” I remembered my father and broke into tears.
“Alali sit down!” She stood and pressed me down by the shoulders until I sat down, my shoulders still heaving. “You’re just too upset to understand. He told me his rent expired and that immediately he finds something to do to afford his own room he would move out. And about the room being too small, it contained us when your father was alive didn’t it?”
She did not understand. We could live in an ant hole with papa and still have room to stretch our legs. This was a stranger who smelt of danger. Mama was still talking. “Look, I’m doing all I can so I can save enough to send you back to school. You’re not helping me by getting upset like this all the time. Do you hear?”
When I did not answer she went on “I want you to go back home” She dipped her hands into her pocket and squeezed a smelly fifty naira note into my palm. “Take a taxi. When you get home try to be nice. If you show love, people will show you love in return”
I wiped my eyes and without saying another word, left for home. When I got back home there were two bottles of beer and cigarette ash all over our small table. The room, already poorly ventilated, reeked of alcohol. His head was thrown back on the chair in deep sleep. I carried the pot of soup from the cupboard and went to the kitchen to prepare lunch. When he woke up I served him garri and soup. He was wary at first but when he got really hungry he pounced on the food.
That night was my worst night ever. I had to go back to sleeping on the floor since there was now a new man in the house who would share the bed with my mother. Although the bed was screened off from the rest of the room by a curtain, it was not enough to muffle the sounds that came from behind it. It was not that I had not heard those sounds before; it was the thought of another man in that bed with my mother that made me sick. My mother moaned, not caring if I was near or not. Amidst Uncle Ralph’s grunting and heavy breathing the bed kept creaking as if it was going to collapse any minute. Both sounds combined felt like an approaching earthquake. I covered my ears with my hands, used my pillow, stuck the corners of my wrapper into my ears and finally gave up. I sat against the wall with my eyes shut but fully awake and waited for morning.
In the morning I was still sitting on my mat when my mother came out from behind the curtain. All the stress lines that had crisscrossed her face had smoothened out. She looked calm and relaxed. Uncle Ralph was still snoring behind the curtain.
“Alali didn’t you sleep, how come you’re awake so early?”
I just kept looking at her with disgust, now imagining her making all those sounds she had been making last night behind the curtain. Had her mouth been wide open? Had her eyes been closed? And those lips; did they curl upward or…
“Alali, why do you look at me that way?” She demanded.
I stood and folded my mat to create floor space in the room. She undressed and got ready to go to the bathroom. “I have to be at the waterside early to collect fish” She told me. “Ask Mrs. Orumabo for money to buy bread. I’ll pay when I come back”
“The last time I collected money for garri you did not pay”
“Alali, you can stay hungry if you want to but make sure you buy bread for your uncle.”
I swallowed that comment because I was seeing something strange. My mother, who had been naked, searching for her sponge and towel, had now faced me to tie her wrapper. There was something strange about her left breast. Even though I knew Uncle Ralph must have severely tampered with it last night, this was not normal.
“Mama, wait” I moved closer to her.
“What? What are you looking at?” She asked, starring into my face. I went closer still, examining the bulge at the side of her breast. Some visiting nurses had told us about this at school. Yes. I was sure it was what it was.
“Mama, you have a breast lump”
She screwed her eyes and looked at the spot I was pointing at. “A what? What do you mean?”
“You haven’t noticed this thing here?”
She touched the lump. “It’s hard”
“You have a breast lump. I think you should see a doctor immediately”
“But is it serious? Can’t I go to Ayeni?”
Ayeni was a well known traditional healer who lived down our street.
“No, mama. This one is not for Ayeni. Go to the hospital first and make sure it has not developed into a cancer”
Her eyes shone. “Cancer! The same cancer that killed my mother!
That was how my mother got admitted in the hospital. The doctor said we were lucky we came when we did and booked my mother for a surgery to remove the lump. After the surgery Uncle Ralph and I took turns to sleep with her in the hospital, helping her feed and keeping her company. Sometimes Mrs. Orumabo cooked food for us to take to my mother if she was too busy to go herself. The tall thin woman who was separated from her husband and had grown up children who had left home was very helpful during this period.
One Friday night when Uncle Ralph was to spend the night in the hospital, I had already settled on my mat to sleep when I heard a knock on the door. When I opened the door he almost fell in on me. That smell of alcohol again. What was he doing here? “I thought you were supposed to sleep there uncle”
“That stupid hospital? It would have been better if the doctors there were as much as the mosquitoes. She told me I could come home when I complained”
“You complained?”
He began snoring almost immediately. Here was someone my mother had taken in and was feeding. And yet he could not take common mosquito bites for her sake. I locked the door and went to lie on my mat. Something woke me up at night. It was pitch dark in the room and I could not see anything. I had rolled away from my wrapper and searched around for it. After a while I woke up again and found that my wrapper was not over me. Stretching my hands I searched for it and touched something. A hand! I jumped and cowered against the wall, shivering. Instinctively, I drew the curtain open and the bright moonlight exposed Uncle Ralph. He was sweating and his eyeballs shone in the moonlight.
“Please don’t shout. I was only trying to feel if you had any breasts lumps” He begged.
“Uncle Ralph! Why!” I clutched my wrapper against my chest. “Did you…did you touch my breast?”
He nodded. “Yes. Please understand. I did not want you to go through what your mother went through”
“You filthy pig!” I spat in anger. “How dare you!”
“I said don’t shout or you’ll regret it”
With a gasp of horror I reached out to slap him. He caught my raised hand and pulled me to himself. I rammed into his chest and drove my teeth into his right shoulder. He flinched and let go. I was already at the door, fiddling with the lock. He came at me but only managed to tear my wrapper off me before the lock gave way and I ran as fast as my legs could carry me to Mrs.Orumabo’s door. I pounded on the door the same way my heart was pounding against my chest and woke her up.
“Aunty…aunty” I panted as I rushed into her room.
“Alali, what is it?”
“Uncle Ralph…lock the door!”
She bolted the door and made me a cup of hot tea. I told her what had happened. She consoled me but did not say anything about Uncle Ralph. All I can remember was that she watched me till I slept off.
My mother was discharged the next day. I was surprised at how strong she was because immediately she dropped her things in the room she dragged me by my shirt collar to the black kitchen that five families in the yard shared. “What’s this nonsense Mrs. Orumabo just told me about enh, Alali?”
“It’s Uncle Ralph, mama. He was fondling my breasts last night. He said he wanted to see if I had breast lumps like you had”
She slapped me across the face. The shock of this unexpected reaction burnt my cheek more than the slap itself.
“Liar!” She spat, now hovering over me where I huddled in a corner of the kitchen.
“Mama?” I asked in disbelief.
“Even if you hate him that much is that why you should put up such a show and tell such disgusting lies? Do you know how horrible your story sounds?” My mother marched off, leaving me in a heap of soot in the kitchen.
“Ask him how he got the bite on shoulder!” I shouted in between sobs. She stopped as if to reply and then continued her march back to the room. I dusted my dress and made for the room. My mother was unpacking her things in a corner. Uncle Ralph had pushed the curtain that screened the bed off aside and now sat on the bed cuddling a neighbor’s baby. He saw me enter the room and smiled. “Alali, why didn’t you warn me your neighbor’s baby had such sharp teeth? Look at my shoulder; I was just telling your mother how the baby bit me yesterday morning. I watched my only evidence fly out the window. So my mother had believed it was that baby that had bitten him so deep? And he had gone through the trouble of borrowing someone’s baby to make me look stupid. He left the room then and returned without the baby. There was no use keeping it now that it had served its purpose. He lit a cigarette and went to help my mother unpack. Feeling like the loser I turned away and went to sit in front of the house. I felt so alone. My only friend in the area who lived next door to our room had moved out with her family. I just sat there thinking about school and all I must be missing.
One Friday morning my mother left for her market stall after making me promise to be good. I took the pain reliever she gave me to help with my menstrual pains and lay on my mat. Uncle Ralph was still in bed fiddling with the small radio my mother had bought for him. He looked at me lying on my mat. “Why are you sleeping by this time of the day?” He asked.
“I’m not feeling well”
“What’s wrong with you?”
I did not answer. Instead I was wondering when he would move out, leave us alone. His presence only made things harder. He stayed at home all day except when he had to visit the joint down the street where he drank and smoked with friends. He did nothing to help out with our feeding. My stomach muscles moved in painful spasms. I wanted to cry out but held myself because of Uncle Ralph. After a while when the pain reliever began to take effect and the cramps reduced, I dozed off…and woke up to find Uncle Ralph standing over me. At first my sight was blurred. I sat up to find my laps exposed. In my pain I had tossed and turned and my skirt had gone up my laps. I wiped my eyes and looked again. It was him alright. “Uncle…what?” As I spoke the spasms in my stomach picked up tempo. He pushed me backward until I lay down and then he knelt over me, keeping me in between his knees. I tried to get up but he pressed my hands down over head. I knew then that I was not in some kind of dream. The reality of what he was about to do hit me with a bang. I was in a disadvantaged position now with him kneeling over me. My hands were already trapped so I wriggled my hips in a weak attempt to break free but he just laughed. The wild lustful expression in his eyes made me struggle even more. From deep inside my soul I let out a scream but he was quick. He clamped his mouth over my lips and forced his tongue between them. The strong taste of tobacco filled my mouth. With my hands held down, my body trapped in between his knees and my mouth engaged in the most brutal kiss, I almost gave up. But someone was knocking. Yes, someone had heard me scream. “Alali!” It was Mrs. Orumabo’s voice, packed with worry. “Alali!” This was my chance. He bit my lower lip so hard they became numb. So even when he let go of my mouth, instead of shouting all my lips could do was tremble. Tears rolled down my cheek and onto the mat. I tried again to scream but he hit me across the face and sent my eyeballs dancing around in their sockets. He ripped my shirt open, pushed my skirt further up and dragged my pant down. He grunted in disgust when he saw my blood-stained sanitary pad. I was thankful that he had realized his efforts had been a waste and that he would leave me alone. “Why didn’t you tell me you fool?” He hit me again and almost broke my nose. And then he grabbed my wrapper and began to clean me up. He wasn’t going to give up. “If you think I’m going to leave you because of this you’re fooling yourself” He got so engrossed cleaning me up that he did not flinch when the loud knocking on the door resumed. “Alali!”
He clamped his hand over my mouth, pressing my lip down so hard my teeth grinded painfully into them. The pounding on the door continued and realizing he had to hurry up he left my hands and held my hips firmly. Using one hand he unzipped his trousers and broke through my virgin barriers. I shut my eyes and cried for help. Hot tears rushed down my cheek. My hands were now free but all my pounding and scratching only seemed to fuel his passion. I employed my fingers, dug them into his face and scratched all the way down as he increased his tempo.
“Alali!” The pounding on the door formed a rhythm in my head, shutting out everything else. With all my energy sapped I was slipping away slowly, gradually. I opened my hands in total surrender and then my hands felt the wooden leg of the bed and went under. I felt a rubber basin. What was that? I grabbed the edge of the basin and tipped it over causing a clatter of plastic and aluminum spoons. Stretching my fingers I felt a knife graze my finger in a slight cut. As he went on I encircled my palm around the knife and gradually withdrew my hands from under the bed. I was slipping away fast. He stopped abruptly inside me and felt my pulse to see if I was breathing. As I held my breath I could see his eyes light up in alarm. Strength came gradually into my fingers. As he pulled out my grip on the knife tightened. He took my blood -stained wrapper and began to clean himself of my blood. I took a deep breath, gathered all the strength left in me and without warning I sat up intending to cut him wherever I could with the knife but he saw my hand coming and caught me by the elbow, twisted my hand downwards with such swift movement, the knife sank into the base of his genitals. He sucked in air and let out a wail. Blood spurted out and soiled the knife. He struggled to pull the knife out of his flesh and I struggled to keep it there. We struggled till his genital was dangling, held only by a piece of flesh. “Aarrggh!” He pushed me away and tried to get up. His blood spurted all over me as he stood. I collapsed on the mat and the last thing I heard was the door being pushed down from outside…I passed out.
I woke up on my hospital bed to find Mrs. Orumabo standing over me, stroking my forehead. My mother, my dear mother was kneeling at the foot of my bed crying and begging for my forgiveness. I looked at her and shook my head; words failed me. I still felt some pain in-between my legs where some stitching had been done. I wanted to know one thing- where Uncle Ralph was. My mother supplied all I wanted to know like she knew it was the first thing I was going to ask. Uncle Ralph had lost his genitals and was to be tried as soon as his wounds healed. Even if they liked, they could set him free, I did not care. I would live with the scars alright but all I needed to know was that for the rest of his life he would never be able to do to some girl what he had done to me.
As for my mother, guilt laden and ashamed, she made promises. The company my father had worked for until his death had finally paid her some sort of compensation and it was a handsome amount. We were going to move far away from where we lived and rent a one bedroom apartment and I was going to go back to school. She would never have anything to do with a man. I had saved her life by detecting a breast lump before it turned into a cancer, so she was going to sweat, pay all my fees even if it meant selling pints of her blood to see me through the university and watch me become a doctor.
I had watched her cry long enough. I opened my arms and encircled her in a warm, loving embrace. After all, she was my mother.

Name Adata cookey Rawlinson
email : adatacookey@yahoo.com
Phone Number 08064886830
Brief Bio: Adata Cookey is a grdauate of Accountancy with a passion for writing and the media.