It All Fades to Black

How often do you take a step back from life and appreciate your ability to walk, to see, or to hear? If you are like me, your response to this question is “rarely” or even “never”. There are many things in life that we often take for granted, and when I say “we”, I do mean all of us. Seldom do we really value the many gifts we have been blessed with or just the general fact that we are ALIVE. My ungratefulness for all these abilities would soon come to an end, resulting from a mere act of stupidity.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been a well-behaved boy. I’ve never smoked, done drugs, or even had the tiniest sip of alcohol and I’ve always respected my elders, family, and friends. I’m an excellent student thoroughly enjoying my senior year of high school and have the most amazing girlfriend I could ever fathom. I’m captain of the football team, basketball team and the lacrosse team and am heading off to Princeton in the fall in hopes of majoring in criminal justice. I’ve always wanted to play the role of one of those characters in CSI: Crime Scene Investigation that examines and processes a crime scene, eventually placing a criminal behind bars. In my eyes, my life was close to perfect, but I hadn’t nearly had as many crazy adventures as I wanted. So, my friend Drew had an idea on New Year’s Eve that I couldn’t turn down, and looking back on it, I wish I did.

Drew has always been an adventurous person. I’ve always envied his bravery and courage; there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t try. On New Year’s Eve, my parents hosted a huge party for friends and family. After all, it was the beginning of a new decade, and one that I planned on being the best yet. When Drew arrived at the party, he approached me and asked me if I wanted to shoot some fireworks off of a small bridge, located near my house. I’ve always enjoyed watching fireworks, so I agreed to accompany him. We drove to the site and Drew took out his enormous backpack, full of fireworks. We shot off a few, watching them shoot up into the sky and explode into magnificent, vibrant colors, sounding off the New Year. We were there for about thirty minutes, and then Drew suggested something insane that he wanted to try. He went back to his car, and opened the sunroof to expose the dark sky, abundant with stars. Drew wanted to try to shoot a firework from inside the car through the sunroof and out into the night sky. I didn’t know what to think of this, but I had to admit, it sounded pretty cool.

Drew had no idea what this was going to do to his car, but he didn’t care. “Daddy” would buy him a new one, so he didn’t have to worry. Both Drew and I got inside and set up the firework so it was directly under the opened sunroof. Drew lit it up and just as it was about to set off, he shut the car door. The slight movement of the car caused the firework to shift its direction, aiming for the sun visor – the one right in front of my face. I didn’t have time to react, other than to cover my ears, leaving my face unprotected and exposed to the firework that landed right at my feet. I bent over trying to conceal my face, but it was no use. I heard a loud shriek, and then everything went black.

“Ryan? Ryan? Ryan, can you hear me? My name is Dr. Gerrard. You’re in the hospital. Can you hear me son? Ryan?”

“Yes, yes I can hear you Doc. What happened? Why is everything black?”

“You have had an accident Ryan, but you are oka-”

“That doesn’t explain why I can’t see! What the hell is happening?”

“Stay with me Ryan. You’re parents are next to you on your right and-”

“WHY CAN’T I SEE”?

“Ryan, as a result of your accident you have become blind in both eyes and we had to repair your inner eardrum from the explosion that occurred in the car. From what we saw and have heard from the paramedics, it appears that you failed at an attempt to shoot fireworks from inside the car.”

“Where’s Drew? Is he okay?”

“I’m right here buddy,” he said to me. “We are all here for you. I’m so sorry man; about everything I shouldn’t have suggeste-”

“Hey don’t blame yourself, I was the one who agreed to be stupid.”

I heard my mom say, “Honey, what on Earth were you thinking? We are so happy that you are okay, but baby the consequences that you are now suffering and will continue to suffer from…Why did you throw common sense completely out the window?”

My mom was right; I had thrown common sense out the window. How could I have been so stupid? How could Drew and I have been so stupid? Why did we do this? I never thought that I would become blind as a result. I don’t think Drew did either. What now? How am I going to finish school? Go to college? Become a CSI? I guess I can shove those dreams up my ass! As I lay there in the hospital bed, I’m praying, praying, praying that this is all I dream and that I’ll wake up and see the faces of my family and friends. But, why should I waste my time? In my world, all the colors had faded to black and that was how they were going to stay…FOREVER.