Silver Lining

As she sat in a world of darkness, one consumed by greed, pettiness and pretentious pricks who have no goal in life but to be better or act better than those around them, she wondered about the person who first said to look for the silver lining. How, if surrounded by darkness, do you find a fucking silver lining? How could she see anything but the black abyss that surrounded her? Pressured her. Forced her to conform. The truth; fuck the silver lining. The only silver lining she was going to see was a gun to her forehead; but only if she was one of the lucky ones.

The darkness faded though, for now. It was never really one to stay. Even it cowered in the presence of the looming daylight. And yet, it lurked within her, it slithered in the corners and oozed down all surfaces waiting for the moment of darkness when it could once again take over. There was no way to describe its presence, and no one ever paid her any attention when she spoke of it. Instead she was asked to admire the darkness on white sheets of paper. To describe the shapes it took and the mysteries it unfolded. She spoke sincerely but no one ever took her seriously. They said she was dishonest and they could only help her if she practiced honesty. They just could not understand. It was never a “win-win” situation as they described it. It was mostly a win-lose. They had the satisfaction of classifying her as another one they could help with time and patience, while she had the displeasure of being further trapped in the dark abyss that was working at her mind, unraveling her one strand at a time. There was no escape, except, perhaps, the canvas.

On the canvas she could truly illuminate the darkness. Her paintings could reveal the truth. Unveil the secrets. Her charcoal was the key to her thoughts, her brush the door to her mind. Trapped within the dark place, she was free here. There were no secrets on the canvas. But she could sense the end. And it neared quickly.

She didn’t sleep. Sleep only brought it upon her faster. Sleep only engulfed her mind in blackness sooner. But they made her.

The prick was no more than a tiny pinch, the burn slowly subsiding to near nothingness, but her head ached as the darkness set in. There was no stopping it now.

It had already engulfed the weak minded, feeding on them as a snake would on mice. Now she was soon to go. She fought as long as she could, but nothing could stop the never-ending black from taking her. Those who watched were cowards; to afraid to fight. To afraid to stand up against the darkness. To shine a light, and find the silver lining. To find the silver lining and share it. Embrace it and share it. They were cowards. And now, they stood, as noble citizens, loyal members of the community, watching her. Making her a coward too.

There was nothing to be done. It was never a win-win situation as they described it. It was always a win-lose.